Breakfast of Champions
by Josh Dale
You go to flip the omelet over, and it breaks. Ever so gently a turn, like you always do, and it still breaks. The innards are exposed. The eggs will continue to harden and soon burn. The cheese goes from the solid state of matter to liquid. The turkey you shredded and stuffed inside sticks out like a sinew of a Medieval corpse. And in the living room, you have YouTube queued up. A snippet of “The Daily Show with Trevor Noah” starts playing and some guy named Rick Wilson claims he is “the last priest of a dying religion”, and it hits you. You scrape the burnt remains from under the buttery sizzle, and you do. You flip it. You’ve reached your final gospel as the warped egg somehow bends to your will. You smirk, knowing quite well that when you exchange the pan for a plate, that omelet will get eaten either way because a warm broken omelet is better than a cold normal one. There’s one pack left of Welch’s Berries N Cherries in the cupboard, just waiting for the feast to end. And all the while, the trashcan gurgles in protest as you put fork to tongue, glass to lips.
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