No Longer Existing in Relation to a Forced Definition of Existence
by Kevin R. Farrell, Jr.
emotions may come in waves
yet we have no need to surf them
struggling to simply traverse the eggshells
strewn about this room
I refuse to tiptoe around
I refuse to trudge through
mentally they are swept aside
physically with no motions to just go through
I am back at a standstill
a once open vessel now a vehicle for merely
spiritually crack a window soul
squeegee the third eye
let the rain come in
let the waters rise
I am the frozen pond
I am the dewdrop at dawn
*to speak of a lack communication?
demands for articulating the means for isolation?*
to block out the bad and good thoughts
as both are obstacles that tilt the scale
I won’t even talk to myself
finding space not for what was lost
but that which was never expected to be found
in searching I have come to the edge and
I am here for the disappearing
no need to be welcomed back
into the fold
into your life
into your circle
into your good graces
into the light
beyond the shadow of a doubt
I would rather starve my mind and gut it out
to no longer seek what is outside
as a means to soothe an insatiable
yearning for more
there is no need for relief from or for
an aching emptiness
this once hungry ghost
has simply closed its mouth
and unclenched its fists
Kevin R. Farrell, Jr. is an artist, poet, and educator whose work has been published in The Poetry Society of New York, BONED – Every Which Way, Burning House Press, Rumble Fish Quarterly, Adroit Journal, Ink in Thirds Magazine, Foxhole Magazine, Yo-NEWYORK! and others.
Photo by Stas Tsibro on Pexels.com.
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